Clash of the Cashews, Part 306

“Yet while life-threatening food allergies are on the rise, even in adults, advocates say public understanding and acceptance of food allergies has not improved. According to FARE, one third of children with food allergies say they have been bullied about their condition. Some adults are no better.” Recently, while sitting in a waiting room for Alessandra’s second block of rehearsal, I heard the familiar crinkling of a ziplock. A fellow dancer was taking out her snack. As I looked at her snack, my eyes focused and I went into high alert. I felt Alessandra tense when she saw the bag. I gave her a squeeze and said “It’s ok. It will be fine.” But I could feel and see that her whole body was rigid with anxiety. And why? The bag was filled with cashews. A delicious snack for the other dancer, but a fatal one for my daughter and many like her. The other little dancer was left waiting for her class- snack in hand. My friend came and sat beside me, sensing my panic, she politely said “Honey, I am sorry, you have to put the nuts away. People are allergic.” The little girl, probably 10 or 11 said “Excuse me, ma’am, they aren’t nuts. They are cashews.” The snarky response from this little dancer did a few things: 1. Sent me into overdrive as a Mama Bear 2. Made me realize that she and her parents were clueless about the seriousness of food allergies. (Repeated emails about nut free snacks had been sent.) 3. It heightened the awareness for others who were listening. As she reached for the bag, I quickly said “Sweetheart, I am sorry. You cannot eat those. Cashews fall into the peanut and tree nut category. Some of the dancers here are highly allergic so you have to put them away and we can get you a new snack. Or you can go speak to the director to find a better snack.” Wide eyed, she said “O.K.” and pulled out crackers and resumed played with the dance center’s dolls. Alessandra’s group was called in next, so she left the waiting room and again, I reassured her that all would be fine. So what happened here besides having impulse control to not lose my mind? Life happened. This little 5 minute blip is the story of my life. Actually, not just mine- it echoes the days and minutes of any parent with a food allergy diagnosed child. Every single day we are faced and forced with mentally reviewing our plan, enforcing and monitoring every situation and keeping our phones on for a call that we pray never comes. While so much is out of our control, so much is in YOURS as the village that surrounds us. We rely on you to keep our babies safe. We aren’t trying to make everyone miserable. We don’t want your “only eats PBJ” kid to fuss over lunch. Or ruin your cashew or almond snack. Hell, I can’t tell you the last time I had a Snickera or Reeses! Let alone a delicious classic PB&J with chips. I miss it but really, who cares? We want you to have the cake of your dreams, but will always ask about how and where it is made, and will always suggest we bring our own as not to cause any problems/stress for you. We simply want to keep our little ones safe. We don’t want to watch them grasp for air, or lose consciousness as their throat closes. We don’t want to watch their eyes swell and stare at yoh with fear that they cannot breathe. We don’t want to spend a weekend in the hospital with a rebound reaction and a failure to respond” observation and treatment. Sounds dramatic? It’s not. It is our reality. So yes, it takes a village. Educate yourself AND go the extra mile to find out if your children have a classmate with allergies. Pack friendly and safe snacks and lunches. Encourage hand washing post snack/lunch/food. Pack a plane or travel snack that won’t send people into either panic attacks or God forbid, anaphylaxis 3,000 feet in the air. That day at rehearsal,all ended well, thankfully. But maybe if I hadn’t said something things may have been different. In a very bad way. The oils travel- from monkey bars to ballet bars, from toys to class markers, it’s all connected and can be spread or even ingested. So if you take anything from this post at all, I hope it’s awareness and empathy. Even if it’s after you eat a personal past fav of mine, Peanut M&Ms, and close your eyes and say “Dang, that was so good! What a shame people w allergies can’t enjoy those!” Then pause and imagine me saying “Now, go wash your hands.” Kidding, but not. It takes a village and my daughter and I are so lucky to be surrounded by people who work hard to keep her safe and me sane. BFF pic below ❤️ MLT https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/food-allergies-airplane-horror-stories-wellness/index.html