Do Balloons Float Up To Heaven

About six years ago we were in our driveway coming home from a party and Alessandra had a little balloon on a string. In typical toddler fashion, her little dimple hands let go of the balloon and she was so upset as she watched the balloon climb higher in the sky. I remember picking her up and putting her on my hip and pointing to it and I said “Oh my gosh, Alessandra don’t worry!!! I have a feeling it is going to end up at MaMa’s house. We didn’t lose them. I promise. She will be so excited to see a purple balloon. Let’s call her and tell her we sent them to her.” And that’s just what we did. My mother-in-law, ever the cheerleader, was thrilled that we sent her a balloon. She explained how happy she was that we would send a special balloon JUST for her all the way to Florida from New York. She assured Alessandra and I that she would look for it every day and call upon it’s arrival. This seemed to help and as the days passed, Alessandra forgot. One evening my husband came home from work and said “Alessandra, MaMa called me and guess what arrived today? A balloon, let’s call her!” And so they did. On one end of the phone my mother-in-law gushed about this perfect purple balloon that was waiting for her after work- and on the other end, was a wide eyed, happy little girl who believed in magic. This was/is love. We miss my mother-in-law so very much. It’s a dull ache that’s soothed by a million little memories like this. Memories that fit into this amazing puzzle of everyday life. To this day whenever we see a balloon floating in the sky, Alessandra chimes in with “Remember when my balloon went all the way to MaMa’s house?” I hope she never loses this sense of love and magic, because I reply “Yes I do- I remember the day like it was yesterday. MaMa was so excited- I still can’t believe that little balloon made it all the way there.” On Saturday, we watched a red balloon float off into the sky. A toddler lost their grip on the string in park and off it went. Right up into the clouds. Alessandra hugged me and said “I miss MaMa.” I squeezed her and said “I know me too- but hey- do you remember when we sent her that balloon?” In that moment I knew exactly where Alessandra wanted that balloon to go- even if she didn’t send it. Selfishly, I hope it made it there. I hope MaMa knows we miss her and love her so and would send 1,000 balloons up to heaven if we could. Loving someone who is gone is so incredibly hard. Guiding your children through their loss and greif is hard too. Sometimes talking about the memories can bring a mix of sadness and happiness. It's a delicate journey and I am so grateful Alessandra is able to talk it out with me and share in these memories. ❤ xx mlt